Clarify Destiny

Lyrics

(Verse 1)

Regret hits me hard as the sleep-deprivation warps time and space.
I fucked up. It’s true.
Tried to ride on stimulants and fake highs.
Now I’m flatlined, driving in circles.
Back and forth. Can’t decide.

Halfway to LA, still don’t know why.
Gas tank low, brain out of sense,
Stuck in a loop that won’t relent.
Why do I bet on choices I already know will suck?
Why do I scroll instead of feel?
Crash on some couch like —
Where even am I? What was the plan?
And yeah —
Tell me how driving six hours, solo hike,
You’d think I planned it. Nah. It planned me.
Impulses win. My future can’t compete.

Holy fuck this sucks.
(But I keep going anyway.)

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(Hook – fast, clipped)

This is epicness? Nah. This is burnt toast logic.
OCD roulette, compulsive, chaotic.
Beating myself up while I try and reboot.
I’m not thriving — I’m caffeine coasting.
Self-loathing roasting.
Half-awake in a shirt from the backseat,
no plan, no discernment,
making moves like throwing spaghetti on the wall,
bouncing around like a pinball.
But hey — could be worse. I could fall off a cliff.
Or just think of other really bad things and feel better it’s not you.
Holy fuck this sucks. That’s real.

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(Verse 2)

“Let’s go to the hot springs!”
My brain’s like: amazing.
Sleep bank: zero.
Schedule: blazing.
Said yes before pulse check.
Then drove back and forth — twice —
Trying to choose like a broken device.
Decision fatigue has me spinning in circles,
Then my brain shuts off — no logic, just urges.
I hit autopilot like “fuck it, just go,”
Even if it’s dumb, better that than stuck in limbo.
Consequences hit — and I suffer and resist.

Holy fuck, this sucks!

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(Verse 2.5)

Starbucks.
Ask for hot. They hand me cold.
Fuck. This!

Traffic said 45 minutes.
But now it’s an hour and a half.

Holy fuck this sucks!

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(Bridge – stripped)

“Holy fuck this sucks.”
Need to be seen. Just to stay in one piece.
Can I feel the fire and not feed it with speech?
Can I keep it contained, let the storyline cease?
Can I sit with the sting, let it pass through me—
Need a validation vending machine…
Holy fuck this sucks.
(And I breathe through it.)

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(Final Hook)

Still making mistakes, then making moves.
Still calling it mine, even when it bruises.
Still sharp. Still real.
Still here.
Epicness isn’t perfect highlight reels.
It’s holding the chaos and feeling what’s real.
Saying no when the spiral begs,
Choosing water over dread and doom.
Phone down mid-freak.
Breathing through pain-body urges.
Soft in the mess.
Trusting the epic includes all of this.
Holding the sharp, aching sting of mistake,
Letting the agony and alignment exist,
This too is perfect. Nothing was missed.

(Whisper outro) Holy fuck, this sucks — and I love myself through it.