Lyrics

INTEGRITY OR BUST

I watched my cathedral shatter on the floor
Built it with my hands and watched it break once more
Stood in all the glass and felt the voltage scream
Most beautiful thing I ever built, dissolved like a dream

And I wanted to die there
Wanted to curl up and quit
Hate myself into the ground for every choice that didn't fit
Sabotage tomorrow because yesterday went wrong
Punish myself so hard there's nothing left to carry on

And there's a pond, a filthy comfortable little pond
Where you can crawl when it gets sharp
Where the water's warm and numb and you can fall apart
And nobody asks anything of you
Don't have to feel, don't have to choose, don't have to be real

Comfort is a coffin with a pillow and a light
Slow death of everything that's worth the fight
Every excuse another nail you drive
Into the box that buries you while you're still alive

Integrity or bust
Devotion or dust
Glass on the ground, blood on my hands
Source romance, source romance
I build it again

You think you're escaping pain? You're not escaping shit
You're delaying it, compounding interest on every hit
Every time you numb, every time you shrink back small
The shatter stacks, the pressure builds, the whole thing starts to crawl

You think confusion is your problem? You're not confused
You know exactly who you are, you know what to do
Too tangled in the tension of what it takes
Too buried in the blanket of your comfortable mistakes

Do you understand what went into this?
This body, this life, this breath?
Trillions of years of cosmic engineering
Birth and death and birth again until the chemistry was right
Until a nervous system formed that could carry this much light

Comfort is a coffin with a pillow and a light
Slow death of everything that's worth the fight
Every excuse another nail you drive
Into the box that buries you while you're still alive

Integrity or bust
Devotion or dust
Glass on the ground, blood on my hands
Source romance, source romance
I build it again

You are not a victim, hear me
Every wound was woven at a level you might have missed
Every shatter, every spiral, every night spent on the floor
Was you selecting the curriculum you came here for

Own that and you're free
Own that and you're dangerous
You're not broken by the burning
You're being built by what you brave

I have watched my destiny shatter more times than I can count
Stood in the wreckage wanting to scream what is this even about
And every fucking time I find myself still breathing
Still standing in the fire

Something in me rises
Not soft, not sweet, not kind
Something feral and devoted
Something that refuses to be resigned

I didn't come here to play it small
Didn't come here to play it safe
Didn't come here to take the easy road
And die having never stepped up to the plate

Comfort is a coffin with a pillow and a light
Slow death of everything that's worth the fight
I hold the pain with presence, not denial, not escape
This fucking sucks and I'm showing up anyway

Integrity or bust
Devotion or dust
Glass on the ground, blood on my hands
Source romance, source romance
I build it again

Source romance
I build it again